the Kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these

It's 2 am and I can't sleep . . . seems to be happening a lot lately. I've been thinking about how well I used to sleep and how as I have gotten older it has become increasingly harder to have a solid night's rest. What could be carrying on so deep within my mind that I can't set it aside for the night? . . . work? . . . school? . . . tomorrow's plans? . . . how I can't sleep? . . . round and round my mind goes, when it stops no one knows! I think the real question is why is my head so full of worry? It is interesting how fear leads to worry and worry leads to stress. So where is this fear coming from? What am I so afraid of? And why as I have gotten older am I increasingly more fearful? If worrying can not even add one single moment to my life (Matthew 6) why do I allow it to consume my time? Seems a little counter intuitive!?!

Oh Papa, remind of what it is to be a child. A sleeping babe, the essence of the heart of those You say the Kingdom belongs. Don't let me forget! . . . . goodnight . . .

Light for rent

Stop telling me you are set apart. And start living set apart.
Stop telling me you believe. And start believing.
Stop telling me you have faith. And start living like you have faith.
Stop telling me that you will love. And start loving.
Stop telling me you will listen. And start listening.
Stop telling me you will speak. And start speaking.
Stop telling me you will lead. And start leading.
Stop telling me you will go. And start living to go.
Stop telling me that you have gifts. And start using your gifts.
Stop telling me you will follow. And start following.
Stop telling me you want to go deeper. And start diving in.
Stop telling me you're the chosen people. Its time to start living like you're the chosen people.
How long will you rent the light?

the shepherds and the angels ~ Luke 2:8-20 ~

⁸And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. ⁹An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. ¹¹Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ^a]">[a] the Lord. ¹²This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."


¹³Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

¹⁴"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

¹⁵When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

¹⁶So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. ¹⁷When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, ¹⁸and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. ¹⁹But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. ²⁰The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

when the time comes

Can't get this song out of my head, perhaps there's something to it! Take a listen, I'm sure you won't be able to get it out of your head as well!

When The Time Comes

You are wisdom but you ask questions
Thank you God for never telling me a lie

Your decisions are mostly hidden
The stage you stand upon is not for human eyes

You tell me not to worry about tomorrow But I worry anyway
You tell me you’ll take care of all my troubles
Jesus, teach me how to wait

You are future but you are present
Thank you God for never running from your past

You’re committed to your creation
For everything you’ve made your love forever lasts

You tell me not to worry about tomorrow but I worry anyway
You tell me you’ll take care of all my troubles
Jesus, teach me how to wait

When the time comes, I will see forever
When the time comes, It’ll be all right
When the time comes, I will be the one asking why

why did I ever doubt you

discipline and obedience and my desire for other things

God has me on a journey, a spiritual walk into the discipline of fasting. The following is a piece to the work He is doing within me:

Food has become a quiet anesthesia to the emotions that I feel such as sadness, discouragement, fear of failure, or even depression. Because I have medicated myself with food for so long I have lost what it feels like to sit in the discomfort and call out to my Heavenly Papa. My discomfort hungers for immediate satisfaction and chokes out any growth my spirit desires to undergo. In my weakness I listen to its demand and fill my face with food until I am satisfied and content. Yet it does not last long and I find myself in the seat of agony once again. Here I sit faced with a choice . . . perhaps I'll see what's in the fridge.

natural vs. supernatural . . . a continuous thought

Today I have been thinking about the Kingdom. What is this mystery that is here and now and not yet? I've been thinking a lot about what life would be like without believing in Jesus. Unfortunately that life looks bleak, discouraging, hopeless, and unfulfilling. Yet what separates me as a believer from a non-believer? I am not any better than he or she and if I thought that, I wouldn't be a Christian in my mind at all. I've been thinking that what separates my life from theirs is that I have a secret. The secret is that the Truth has been revealed to me and not only do I see but I have vision. What marks my life as different is that it is lived with purpose and is much fuller. What would have been hopeless is hopeful, what would be bleak is adventurous and exciting, what would be discouraging is filled with joy. Funny enough, as I was thinking this, I read straight out of Matthew and this is what I read:

Then Jesus prayed this prayer: "O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding the truth from those who think themselves so wise and clever, and for revealing it to the childlike. Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way!

~ Matthew 11: 25-26 ~

I've also been thinking that what separates me from a non-believer is the way I live my life. This may be cliche, but what I'm thinking about is what reality I live in. Someone who lives for the world and in it may live in the reality of the seen, yet when I connect with the Father, I go into this childlike place and see a reality much clearer beyond my own. Everything starts to come alive and becomes in sink with each other. Its as if everything starts talking a mysterious language that leaves you in a trance. Now for some I may be talking crazy talk, but to me I couldn't be making more sense than the fact that 1 plus 1 equals 2. God says there is a reality beyond this one that we see with our eyes, its the supernatural. If you don't believe me, think about Elijah or Elisha, or perhaps Paul:

Let me tell about the visions and revelations I received from the Lord. I was caught up into the third heaven fourteen years ago. Whether my body was there or just my spirit, I don't know; only God knows. But I do know that I was caught up into paradise and heard things so astounding that they cannot be told.

~ 2 Corinthians 12:1-4 ~

My thoughts now are how do I live in such a way as to attract those living in the natural to the reality of the supernatural, ( ie. the Kingdom, Jesus, the Father, etc., etc.)? Why is it that God allows some to have this truth revealed and not others? What is my part in the mix? I know its about obedience, yet it feels funny that the older I get in the natural I am growing backward to a childlike state of dependency on my first love in the supernatural. Almost sounds like the more I know, the more I don't know! How does this all make sense?

A whole lot of ramblings going on inside of my head, but I am thankful God gave me a brain to think, to ponder, and to be open to new concepts and truths He has been desiring to release. Please feel free to comment as to your thoughts, perhaps not even on what I wrote, but what has been on your heart lately! I'd love to hear about what God is shaking and moving!

Matthew 7:13-14

"You can enter God's Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose the easy way. But the gateway to life is small, and the road is narrow, and only a few ever find it." ~ Matthew 7:13-14 ~